


I hate you (I love you)

by Thei



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: (boys loving), Boys fighting, M/M, Rivalry, hawkins in the 80s is not the best place and time to have a boyfriend, keeping up appearances - Freeform, pretend relationship (only the other way around)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:53:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thei/pseuds/Thei
Summary: It was a truth universally known, that Steve Harrington and Billy Hargrove hated each other.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 37
Kudos: 210
Collections: Stranger Trash Exchange Collection





	I hate you (I love you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [missroserose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/missroserose/gifts).



It was a truth universally known, that Steve Harrington and Billy Hargrove hated each other.

After all, Harrington had been king of Hawkins High once, and everyone remembered the parties he used to host, and the ruthlessness with which he used to rule. But then he fell in love with little miss Nancy, and turned his back on all of that.

When Hargrove rolled into town, it was child’s play for him to take the throne. But by then, Steve had been in self-imposed exile for almost a year - a year of avoiding his former friends and _not_ going to parties - so no one really expected the two of them to clash as badly as they did.

But clash they did.

One Monday in late fall, Billy showed up at school with bruises on his skin and a grin on his face. His knuckles were black and blue, and it was clear he'd been in a fight. And by the smug smile he was wearing, it was a fight he'd won. He didn’t say anything, though – kept people guessing – but everything fell into place a couple of days later, when Steve showed up looking like roadkill.

Since then, it was common knowledge that the former king of Hawkins High and the current king absolutely _hated_ each other.

It was one of few things that you could be absolutely sure of. The same way you knew that Tommy and Carol were joined at the hip, and that Brian and Jennifer broke up and got back together at least once a week; you could always be sure that if Billy and Steve were in each other’s vicinity, there would be sparks flying. And sometimes, those sparks led to an explosion.

* * *

“The _fuck_ , Harrington”, was the only warning Steve got before there was a hand on his shoulder and he was being forcefully turned around and slammed against the lockers. Steve grimaced when something dug into his back, and when he looked up he was face to face with Billy, who was snarling at him.

“What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?” Billy spat.

“Uh, getting ready for class?” Steve said, shrugging Billy’s hand off his shoulder.

Billy growled and grabbed the front of his shirt with both hands, pushing him back against the lockers. “Not what I meant, and you know it.”

Steve made sure to frown and look like he had to think it through. Everyone around them had stopped what they were doing to watch the proceedings, after all, and with that kind of audience, he might as well put on a show. “Hmm, I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“My _car_ , Harrington”, Billy growled. “You parked so fucking close, I can’t get into my car.”

“Well”, Steve said, feigning innocence, “you were _very close to the line_. Not my fault if you can’t park properly.”

Billy leaned forward, his voice dropping. “Move your car.”

“No”, Steve said, and before Billy had a chance to reply, he continued, “Why do you even need it right now? We’re in school. You’ll be able to leave with the rest of us at the end of the day anyway, so what’s the big deal?”

“I left my smokes in the car, asshole.”

This made Steve smile widely, even as Billy pushed him harder into the lockers. “Aw, what? You can’t go _one day_ _without_? That’s _weak_ , Hargrove.”

A few people drew in sharp breaths at that, and Steve himself tensed in Billy’s grip. But he didn’t look away from Billy’s eyes, and there was a moment where everyone seemed to hold their breath. Then Billy let go of Steve’s collar, patted him on the cheek in an almost-slap, and grinned.

“It’s nice to see some fire in you again, _king Steve_.”

Then he turned and walked down the hallway, throwing his parting words over his shoulder; “But if your car’s not gone at the end of the day, I’ll fuck you up.”

* * *

_“So, how did it go?” Steve says with a smile, later, when they’re far away from prying eyes. “A whole day without smoking, hmm?”_

_Billy makes a sound that could be the beginnings of an insult, but it cuts off and transforms into a moan. Steve’s got Billy up against a wall, pushing him against it with a knee between his legs, and with his face nuzzled up against Billy’s neck._

_“Do you know how difficult it was not to grab you and push_ you _up against the lockers?” Steve breathes in Billy’s ear. “I wanted to, the whole time. So I could do_ this _.” And then his mouth is on Billy’s, and they’re kissing, and there’s a hand on the back of Steve’s head and another running down his spine and he’s got one of his own hands – the one not splayed out on the wall by Billy’s head – in Billy’s hair, pulling just a_ little _too hard._

 _“_ A whole day _without something in your mouth”, he says in a low voice and drags his teeth along Billy’s jawline. “Must have been_ hard _.” He moves his leg up, just slightly, and grins at Billy’s answering gasp._

_“Steve–”_

_“Luckily, that’s something we can remedy right now”, Steve says, and even in the heat of the moment, it has Billy snorting out a laugh._

_“That was_ terrible _, Harrington”, he says, but with a twinkle in his eye. And he doesn’t complain when Steve backs up a step to give him space, instead he licks his lips and gets on his knees._

* * *

It was an unspoken rule that you never started a physical fight in the showers – it probably had something to do with all that naked skin – but there were no rules against quips and mocking comments.

“Good game today, Harrington”, Billy said and slapped him on the shoulder. Steve clenched his jaw, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He didn’t have to wait long, as Billy immediately followed up with, “You even stayed on your feet today! Is that a first, or …?”

As expected, Tommy and Dave laughed with him, while Mark and Johnny turned away, obviously uninterested in taking sides.

“Whatever”, Steve murmured and reached for the soap.

Billy took a step closer. “If you used to play like that before, it’s no wonder they used to think you were hot shit – well, ‘til I showed up, anyway.”

Steve huffed, unamused. “Full of yourself, much?”

“Well it’s true, isn’t it?” He took another step forward, tilted his head a bit. “You used to be a _lot_ of things, I hear.” A paus. “Best man on the court. Most popular with the ladies _._ Top dog in school. ” At this, he ran his tongue over his teeth. “What happened to you, man?” He leaned in and dropped his voice. “Don’t say I ruined your rep just by showing up?”

Steve turned and frowned at how close Billy had gotten. “Yeah, don’t flatter yourself.”

He put two fingers to Billy’s naked chest, breaking the unspoken shower rule, and pushed him away.

Billy grinned as if delighted, and backed up. “I don’t have to flatter myself. Other people do it for me.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Fuck you, Hargrove.” He held Billy’s gaze for a couple of seconds, eyes dark, and then he stepped into the spray to rinse off.

* * *

_Later, they’re both kissing, nibbling,_ touching _, and Steve’s running his fingers down the sides of Billy’s torso, dragging his nails over hot skin, making Billy groan into his mouth and weave both of his hands into Steve’s hair in an effort to pull him_ closer _._

 _“Fuck, babe”, Billy murmurs between kisses. “Wanted you so_ badly _today.” He presses up against Steve and starts tearing at his shirt. “Standing there all naked and perfect –“ A hitched breath, “– ah, fuck. Get this thing_ off _!”_

_Steve laughs but obliges, pulls the shirt over his head, and Billy takes the opportunity to lick a stripe up his chest, something that makes Steve forget how to breathe for a second._

_“How about you, huh?” Steve says as soon as he regains his breath, while reaching for Billy’s belt. “Starting things in the_ shower _. Fuck.” He sticks his hand down the front of Billy’s jeans, and Billy_ keens _. “I just wanted to shut – you – up – today.” Every word is punctuated with an impatient tug, and it does_ nothing _to shut Billy up._

 _“Steve, oh god,_ please _–“_

_“Who’s top dog now, huh?”_

_“Fuck you”, Billy says, reflexively, but it’s ruined by the way he presses himself against Steve; as if he can’t get close enough._

_Steve smiles. “We’ll get to that.”_

* * *

Steve barely had time to throw out an arm and stop himself from faceplanting into the lockers. Behind him, Billy cackled.

“Watch your step, Harrington.”

Steve whirled around, eyes narrowing. “You fucking _tripped_ me!”

“Yeah?” Billy gestured to the few other people in the hallway. “Says _who_?” He raised an eyebrow at the guy standing closest, who averted his eyes and walked away. Billy turned back to Steve and grinned. The message was clear: No one would take Steve’s side in this.

That made Steve work his jaw in irritation. He took a few steps forward until he got right up in Billy’s face – because _of course_ the guy didn’t back away, _of course_ he stood his ground and refused to move – and said, under his breath, “You wanna go, Hargrove?”

Standing so close that their noses were almost touching, Steve could feel a breath of air when Billy huffed out a laugh. There was a twinkle in his eye that promised violence, and for a second both boys tensed up, prepared for whatever the other would do –

“What’s going on here?”

Mr Harris’ voice was loud in the otherwise hushed hallway when he stalked toward them, and Steve and Billy took a step away from each other at the same time.

“Nothing”, said Billy while Steve shrugged.

Mr Harris glared at them both, and then looked around the hallway. The other students, who had so far been watching the proceedings with bated breath, hurriedly got back to whatever they’d been doing, and the teacher turned back to Billy and Steve with a sigh.

“Go to class”, was all he said.

Steve turned to get to his locker, but not before throwing a glance over his shoulder – he didn’t miss the way Billy winked and wagged his tongue at him.

_“Asshole.”_

* * *

_“You’re_ such _an asshole”, he says, later, when his hands are under Billy’s shirt and Billy’s dragging his lips down Steve’s throat._

 _“Yeah?” is the murmured reply. “Says who?” There is a hint of teeth at Steve’s collarbone, and Steve digs his fingers into soft skin in retaliation, eliciting a noise that he wants to_ taste _. So he backs up a step, only so that he can bend down and capture Billy’s lips with his own. Billy is grinning against the kiss, Steve can_ feel _it, and it has him pushing forward. Billy actually backs up this time, unlike in school, until his knees hit the edge of the bed and he falls._

 _He ends up sprawled out on the bed, shirt twisted around his torso, still grinning. “You wanna_ go _, Harrington?”_

 _And yes,_ yes _, Steve wanna go._

* * *

On the court, it was anyone’s guess who was going to win a fight – or start it. Because while Billy was often the instigator of their little confrontations, Steve was at least as likely to start shit during a game. Just as likely to push Billy down, or shoulder past him and steal the ball, or retaliate with a sharp elbow to the ribs if he could get away with it.

Billy gave as good as he got, of course, and never took anything lying down – most of the time he was up again in a heartbeat, and with a fire in his eyes that spelled trouble. Coach had discovered quickly that putting them on the same team did not change their behavior in the least, so nowadays they always played on opposite sides. At least that way, the games got interesting.

They were both equally determined to win, and as long as they only went for each other and didn’t end up seriously injured, Coach would let certain things slide – because honestly, their rivalry really forced the rest of the team to step up their game.

“My grandma’s faster than you are”, Steve panted as he stole the ball from Billy and passed it to a teammate while blocking Billy from running past him, “and she’s dead.”

“Yeah?” Billy said and showed his teeth. “Too bad. Bet she was a real looker, huh?”

He tried to get past Steve, who pushed him back. It only made Billy grin, though. “Must’ve been, if you’ve got her genes, huh, _pretty boy_?”

“Gross”, Steve said and made a face.

“You know it”, Billy replied with a grin and a wink.

Someone passed the ball to Steve, and he shouldered past Billy with more force than strictly necessary. Billy lost his balance and fell to the floor, twisting so he could catch himself with his hands and elbows, and Steve ran down the court, took the shot and scored. He ignored the cheers from his teammates, and instead sauntered up to Billy, who hadn’t gotten up yet.

“Too slow, Hargrove”, he said, smugly, and held out a hand as if to help Billy up.

Billy, understandably, looked a bit wary at this, but after a moment’s hesitation he took the proffered hand. Steve pulled him in close, said something that was too low for the people around them to hear but which made Billy’s eyes widen, and then promptly pushed Billy back down to the gym floor before turning his back and walking away, leaving Billy staring after him.

* * *

_Not that much later – in fact as soon as they could get back to Steve’s place – Billy’s looking down at Steve where he’s lying on his back on his bed; leaning on his elbows, still in his gym clothes, hair still messy from the game. Billy takes a second to enjoy the view, then he’s on top of Steve, kissing him and pressing him down into the softness of the mattress, a hand on either side of him and straddling his legs._

_“Do you have –“_ Kiss _. “– any idea –“_ Kiss _. “– how much you drive me crazy?”_ Kiss _._

_Steve chuckles into the kisses, bucks his hips and says, “I’ve got an idea, yeah.”_

_“_ Fuck _, babe”, Billy groans and moves his hips, too, “I love it when you do that –“_ Kiss _. “– when you get all_ aggressive _on the court –“ And he grinds down, and Steve’s eyes flutter closed, and Billy continues, “– but fuck, Steve, you can’t just_ say _shit like that when we're in public.”_

_Steve grabs Billy’s neck and pulls him down for another kiss. When they break apart, Steve holds him close and whispers, breath hot against his face, “You love it.”_

_“Yeah”, Billy says, voice hoarse. “But it_ wrecked _me, man.”_

_Steve smiles. “You love that, too.”_

* * *

Steve was waiting for the nerd herd outside the movie theatre, since he had – in a moment of weakness – promised to pick them up and drive them home. He was a little early, because he wasn’t sure how long the movie was, but it couldn’t be long, now – there was a small group of people outside the theatre, waiting for the next showing. Some of them, he recognized from school, and he nodded in greeting as he leaned against his car and lit a cigarette.

A car approached, engine loud and music louder, and parked next to him. Some people in line glanced between Steve and the new arrival, but Steve didn’t even look up.

“Fancy meeting you here, Harrington.”

Steve just took a drag of his cigarette and blew out smoke without acknowledging Billy, even when Billy walked up to him and leaned against his car, standing too close.

“Can I bum one?”

Steve still didn’t answer. He kept looking at the people outside the theatre – many of whom were discreetly looking back, probably wondering if they were going to witness a fight.

“Hey”, Billy said and nudged him with his shoulder. “I’m talking to you.”

Still no reaction. Steve kept watching the entrance, and calmly took another drag of his cigarette.

Billy abruptly pushed off the car and went to stand in his direct line of sight.

“I said”, he said and gave Steve a push before stealing the cigarette from between his fingers. “I’m talking to you.” And then he took a drag, too, only so he could blow smoke in Steve’s face.

Steve’s eyes darkened, but he didn’t move when he met Billy’s eyes and calmly answered, “Well, _I’m_ not talking to _you_.”

Billy tensed. The whole thing could have ended badly if the doors to the movie theatre hadn’t opened at that exact time, and a bunch of people had come out – the kids included. They must have seen what was about to happen, because they flocked to the cars quicker than usual.

Billy backed away from Steve when the kids surrounded them, and he narrowed his eyes before he barked at Max, “Move your ass, Max, let’s go!” Then he walked around the Camaro to the driver’s side and looked Steve in the eye over the roof of the car. Gave him a two-fingered salute and said, meaningfully, “See you later, Harrington.”

* * *

_“Hey.”_

_No answer._

_“Steve. Hey.”_

_Still no answer._

_Billy pokes Steve in the side and gets to see Steve purse his lips in an obvious effort to fight down a smile. “What’s with the silent treatment?”_

_Steve’s still not talking, but there’s a twinkle in his eye, so Billy pokes him in the side again. Steve squeaks and squirms away, which makes Billy grin evilly. Steve sees this, realizes what he has just done, and his eyes widen._

_“No, Billy, wait –“_

_But it’s no use. Billy has already tackled him down in the couch, and is straddling him while he’s attacking all the spots where he_ knows _Steve’s ticklish. “Ignoring me, huh? I don’t like being ignored, pretty boy!”_

_Steve’s laughing and pleading and kicking the end of the couch with socked feet in an effort to get away, but his pleas fall on deaf ears as Billy continue his merciless assault._

_“No, stop,_ please _!”_

_Billy stops. Smiles widely, leans down to kiss Steve lightly on the lips. “Ah, there’s the magic word.”_

_Steve huffs, but kisses back. “You’re an asshole.”_

_“Says the guy who totally ignored me today”, Billy murmurs and lets his hands trail over Steve’s sides again, but with a_ different _kind of touch, this time._

_“We agreed – mmm – that we were gonna keep our distance outside of school.”_

_“My bad”, Billy says and mouths on the underside of Steve’s jaw. “I just saw you there, looking all delicious, and couldn’t help myself.”_

_Steve puts his hand on the back on Billy’s head and pulls him closer. “You’re such a sap, babe.”_

* * *

One Thursday morning, Billy was stalking through the hallways of Hawkins High, a dark look on his face. It made the other students get out of his way, and he didn’t acknowledge any of them as he walked – somewhat stiffly – with an obvious destination in mind.

Steve must have sensed the change in mood in the people around him, because he turned around just before Billy reached him. A range of emotions passed over his face at the sight of him, but he settled on determination just before Billy threw a punch without so much as a warning. It got Steve in the eye, and made him stumble to the side.

The hallway was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Steve looked up, slowly reaching up to touch his face where he’d been hit. Billy didn’t move; just stood a couple of steps away, shoulders tense, staring at Steve. Steve blinked. Gave a little nod. And then he took a swing, himself.

He hit Billy in the jaw, hard, and while Billy was busy righting himself, Steve tackled him to the dirty linoleum floor.

They rolled around, punching and kicking each other, without either of them saying a word. It didn’t matter, though. The rest of the student body were making enough noise to drown their silence out.

An indeterminate amount of time later, a couple of teachers made their way through the cheering students, and managed to pull the two fighters apart. They were taken to the principal’s office, and subsequently yelled at and told that their parents were going to be informed about this _–_ and since neither Billy nor Steve would speak up about what prompted their fight, they were both put in detention.

They didn’t speak a word to each other during that time, while they were being watched by old Mrs Jones in an empty classroom. But they kept sneaking glances at each other.

* * *

_After they are finally let out from detention, they go back to Steve’s place, Steve's kitchen. Billy’s shirtless, sitting in one of the chairs, and Steve is kneeling between his spread legs, gently touching the bruises on his torso – of which only a couple actually came from their fight. The rest, as they both know, were there already when Billy arrived at school that morning._

_Billy reaches out and runs the back of his fingers over the discoloration under Steve’s eye – the only mark he left on Steve – and his face twists into something like anguish._

_“I’m sorry”, he says, quietly. “I didn’t have time to get a hold of you before school.”_

_Steve doesn’t wave the apology away, nor does he yell about it. He only nods, and says, “I’m sorry, too.”_

_He glances at the mark on Billy’s jaw. It had been reddish already when he hit him, but now – after Steve’s punch – it’s turned a darker shade, almost purple. He’d tried to hold back, but he knew he had to make it look real._ They _had to make it look real._

_“I’m sorry”, he says again, softer._

_He’s not sorry that they fought. He’s not sorry about Billy hitting him in the face. He has_ other things _to be sorry about._

 _His thumb runs over a knuckle-shaped mark right under Billy’s ribs. It’s too wide to have come from his hand._ He _didn’t do that one._

_“Will you get in trouble over this?” he asks. Clarifies, when Billy makes a questioning noise, “The fight. Detention.”_

_Billy shakes his head. “No.”_

_And Steve holds his breath, closes his eyes, and lightly splays his hands out on either side of Billy’s torso. He covers as many of the bruises as he can with gentle hands, hiding them from view, as if that could erase them altogether._

_“No”, Billy says, again. “He expects it, by now.” He laughs, and the sound is brittle. “After all, there's no better way to hide bruises than by covering them with new ones.”_

_There’s nothing to be said, after that – at least, nothing that hasn’t already been said, many times before._

_They are quiet for a long time. Billy’s hands are back in his lap, and he’s looking down at them as if they hold the answer to everything that’s wrong with the world. Steve’s keeping his hands on Billy’s bare skin. Trying to convey love and safety via touch._

_“I’m so tired”, Billy says, and his voice breaks. “I’m so tired of always having to worry about what other people think.”_

_There’s more to that than just the bruises, Steve knows. He also knows there is nothing he can do to make it better._

_All he can do, right now, is to lean his head on Billy’s chest, put his arms around him, and pull him close. He can feel Billy tense up, only to melt into the embrace almost immediately._

_It takes him a second, but then Billy leans his head on Steve’s, and hesitantly puts his arms around him. And Steve, he thinks that maybe this is enough._

_For now, it will have to be._

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd.
> 
> For a discord holiday exchange. For missroserose, which ... If you read this, I'm sorry it wasn't up to par.


End file.
